Love begins in God, lived out by you
Dr. Olawale
Scripture: 1 Cor. 13; 1 John 4; Gal. 5:6
Exhortation
Imagine your last day at your workplace, where you have worked for over 5, 10, 20, or even 30 years. What would you like to be remembered for? Now, imagine today is your last day on earth. What would you want your spouse and children to remember about you? Would it be the number of hours you spent at work, the size of your bank account, your title, your accomplishments, or the number and size of properties you owned? What would you like your friends and neighbors to remember about you?
My wife and I lived in Florida for some years. I spent most of the first five years in the lab at the College of Engineering, working on my doctoral dissertation. The latter was spent working on a tech startup I co-founded. When it was time for us to leave Florida, and different groups of friends organized send-off parties for us, it hit me hard that no one mentioned my accomplishments, such as co-founding a tech startup or the number of publications I had. All the comments focused on small acts of kindness, such as opening our home to students and spending time with others.
My wife’s cooking was more popular than the book and journal papers I published. As I look back, I wish I had been more intentional about being available to my family, friends, and acquaintances to show them more kindness and offer help, because that is what actually matters in life. We create an enduring legacy through a lifestyle of love.
How important is living a lifestyle driven by love? The Book of 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 states that what we do, have, accomplish, and give is of no value if it is not love-based and love-motivated. God’s word states that we are nothing and gain nothing, no matter what we have, do, or give without love.
“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” - 1 Cor. 13:1-3
Not only that, we are nothing and gain nothing, but a lifestyle of love is a critical requirement if we are to abide in Christ and be all He wants us to be in life. He stated in John 15:1-5 that we must abide in Him because, without Him, we can do nothing. He continued in verses 9-13:
“9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” - John 15:9-13
The way to abide in Him is by obeying His command, which is to love each other as He loved us and gave His life for us. If living a lifestyle of love is this important, what is love in practical terms? Let's learn from God Himself.
“9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” - 1 John 4:9-12
It is clear from this passage that love begins with God and then by us choosing to love others, even when they don’t deserve it or when their conduct is not favorable to us. Understanding this important point is crucial in our decision to adopt a lifestyle of love. I choose to love not because the other person is good or has done me good, but because God loves me, even when I don’t deserve it, and He commands me to love others, even when they don’t deserve it. So, we are empowered to love based on our understanding of God’s undeserved and unconditional love for us.
In marriages, when each party understands this truth, neither party will be waiting for the other to be good or change before showing love to one another. The result will be a love-filled home where each party is working to outdo the other in love because the love is not based on the other party’s action, but a choice based on God’s love each has received.
How do I know if I am walking and growing in love? Love is a verb, not a feeling or sensation! It is an intentional choice I make to be good and to seek the good of others, whether they are good to me or not. Here are the practical characteristics and actions from a lifestyle of love, whether at home or outside the house.
“4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
So, how do I grow in love?
Pray: Ask God to empower you through the Holy Spirit to be grounded in love. Ask Him to help you comprehend the extent of His great love for you and His people. One of the scriptures I pray over daily, along this line, is Ephesians 3:14-21.
Meditate daily on scriptures: For years, I have had a large wooden block in the passageway on which the words of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 are written. Every morning, as I prepare our last child for school, I spend a few minutes in front of the wooden inscriptions to meditate on the scripture about love. I can testify to the transformative power of God’s word when we continually expose ourselves to it. Remember what God told Joshua about speaking, meditating on, and doing the Word:
“Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” Joshua 1:8
Declare God’s word on love over your life: Two of the scriptural declarations I make over myself during the day are:
“God has not given me the spirit of fear, but that of power, of love, and of a sound mind” 2 Timothy 1:7
“God’s love has been shed abroad in my heart by the Holy Spirit, and so I am able to love God and His people the way He does” Romans 5:5
Choose to walk in love daily: Always remember that walking in love is a choice you must make intentionally. God commands us to do so, and there are great rewards for obedience. Walking in love is a show of your love for and gratitude to God, making it so worthwhile!
When you miss it, be quick to repent, apologize, and make restitution. Remember that you are always a work in progress. When you miss it, don’t become discouraged, and don’t allow the devil to talk you into giving up. Keep at it. You are growing, and the Lord Jesus is rejoicing over you. If you persist, you will witness a gradual, sustainable, and ever-growing transformation within yourself and those around you. Never give up!
